Sorcerer’s spell

(Photo Credit: Creative Commons)

Darkness in form

Like a sorcerer’s spell

Flames birth

With a metallic sheen

Shadows of white whisper left behind

Cut, cut, cut

Water made with snow dust

And into the needle it goes

Pressure encircling my arm

Quick little pain

Bulging vein

Quake in release

Quiet hopeful yearning

Rush to my head

Throbbing like a flooding river

Fire under my skin

Mind like a helium balloon

Hitch in my breath

Queer crawling itch

Chemical wizards command

My life feels better

The Victim

(Photo Credit: CC, http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3ARage.jpg)

Written on: 10/13/12

The cold is bitter,
Unrelenting;
It's teeth rip and tear at my flesh.
I have, no escape.
There is, no peace,
Within this existence.
The walls of my mind have frozen over,
All that's left, is for that sharp wind,
To shatter my mind. Keleidoscopadigm.

Similarly, as with everything else.
To become the dust,
Which, with the wind,
Becomes glass, and it cuts,
Buries itself within my skin.
Like the tortured screams
Crying from within.
If only such a weapon,
Could be turned against
All the vicious fools
Whose enmity I posses,
But I have none,
No tool, nowhere to run
I have but to endure,
Carry each scar like a gem encrusted necklace.

I have that curse,
It is mine to wear,
I would have it no other way,
But I would if it were there.
Such a contradiction does not exist,
But it exists within me, none the less.

I say this with certainty
For one reason only,
Those fools,
Who bear me such enmity,
Would not do such,
If they lived as I must.
As target, for their amusement.
And a stool, to stand upon.
Like the corner stones of old,
I am the foundation for their home,
A tower of torture, and pain, which deems;
I am the victim,
Hear my scream!

What lies between

(Photo Credit: CC, http://blogs.egu.eu/geolog/2013/11/18/imaggeo-on-mondays-that-spot-there-its-143000-kilometres-across/)

Written on: 10/13/12

Such an epic to see those living wonders
That I would carry them forever in my pocket
If I were able I would fold them up
And carefully place them while wearing gloves
Not to tarnish or stain their very presence
With that taint which exist with me inherent
I could see them now in that distant place
Like two worlds apart with no separation between
Not even a foot, or any measure distinct
Such beauty and serene scenes
Tied up with no word to discern them
Only comparisons from one to the other
Intertwined like oceans and water
Where one is hard and solid and bare
The other is incorporeal shifting and fair
While one is strong and monumentous
That by seeing its twin you'd think it victorious
But how can one win in standards not there
When in not one way can either compare
So if you ever by chance see a mountain so tall
That it wraps around the sky's grand walls
Think to yourself as you're want to do
What lies between the earth, the heavens, and you

Stoned Philosophical Rant

(Photo Credit: Unknown Photographer Creative Commons/gravityglue.com)

I feel an ebb of confusion welling up within me, echoing like a heartbeat that is growing in intensity. The source of the confusion isn't clear, it's as if a multitude of facets coordinated an attack on my subconscious; distracting me as they detract the attention of my focus. A parallel to my conventions is dissimilar to my self, hidden beneath the surface of my skin like a pebble below a pond; obscured by algae and scum, but visible only in the hues it represents.
I redouble my mental faculties in order to preserve the image, to understand and comprehend it's meaning, but the more my mind stresses the picture the more rips and tears it rends, distorting the image further. Not only are the enemies which assail me external but there exist internal foes which seem even more dangerous; more-so because they don't instigate events, only perpetuate the existence of those events. I find that I cannot dissuade my mind, nor can I articulate enough to disengage my clarity from these detractors. Eternally shall they be married and my perceptive goals lost to me.
I am my own worst enemy, unable to disentangle events cause externally from my internal struggles, and my struggles persist beyond my control. I am lost and losing still for I fight a battle I cannot win. I cannot win only because I fight, and realize only then that my fighting, my desire to fight is where I lose my focus, my clarity. So I remove the shackles of my desire, severing the chains which bind me. I focus not on the external conflicts, I resist my urges until they exist no more.
Now I'm free, I have escaped. I don't dwell on those battles which I had lost before I even began to fight, I don't dwell on those forces which exist beyond my self or are self centered in their existence. For my focus to be clear I must clear my focus, and see not what see's me. Only then am I free, disentangled from the cause of my torment, disillusioned to the cause of my pain, aggravation, and fears. Only through the mere schism of self from the world can I then focus on the world of self, and live in the harmony of being, to exist within the world which is free from all discomfort, for there is nothing which needs comfort in the world of self, and as such nothing can exist to detract from a comfort that does not exist.
My focus returned, but only for so long as I refuse my focus from the world, but as I do the world then refuses my focus. there can be no compromise; for one to exist completely, the other must completely not exist. The world of the middle would be preferable, but then the choice becomes the dangerous tangle of focus and the world, and the events which become enemies, and enemies which exist to perpetuate events.
The tormented becomes the tormentor, the cause the effect. And what tangible benefit can one reap from a tormented mind, one conscious of the fact that they will never completely possess the focus of virtue they seek, and the focus of a mind capable of seeking solace from that torment. The conundrum lies in that; to be free of the torment of the world, the world ,must be free of torment, but for torment to be nonexistent one must be detached from the world so that the complete potential of their focus can be applied; but in complete focus lies nothing worldly, so for one to focus on the world completely they will lose all focus, but in loosing all the world they have focus with nothing to apply it to. In a simple way one can focus on nothing or have nothing to focus on.



Thanks for reading. Get stoned and share a rant of your own in the comments.

Nine Moments Of A Soul

(Photo Credit: Ethereal by mudwrestler http://www.deviantart.com/art/Ethereal-69070526)

1

We start in the middle
Of a ceremonious ring.
One not fought,
Thoughtful lies,
Bleeds me one and just the same.
On half my lines drawn, drunken heroes of heathens harpers.
And the other is a heroine dosed junkie, jamming a steel rod into the heart of the sinner.
They both kill me,
Kill me, the same.
Pledge to open up that wound, and profess
My courage,
Greed, and hate;
All the same.
Now point me in the direction of your pain,
I felt it coming before it began.
Like the hissing of rain before the storm,
And I remember it like the crackling inside my brain, as the thunder left
Opened, and flowing through the guilt ridden fence.
The partition of my life, gone to rest.
No longer will I fade, before my demise,
I'll shine.
Until it is my time
To rain down among you all.
Will free will; in gilded fist,
Screaming the injustice,
And the truth of spear torn chest.
Face me now!
Until, you have no way
Out of here.
To taste my flesh on bloodstained lips,
As you have killed me, and stole my breath.
But just as you drained me,
I am whole,
Here,
Inside the storm.
Without my skin,
No wall to guard me
But now; before it all
Came
Crumbling down,
The lightning flashed,
As your tears came down,
And as the blade came down.
I felt the look, in your eyes,
As I have died,
I will die,
And I don’t mind at all,
I don’t mind.
As a tear falls from your eyes,
As a blade falls between my ribs,
And I scream my injustice.
I know the truth,
I slip away, and
You are left here.
As I slip away,
I feel you
Still breathing,
Standing here, on soft blood covered ground.

2

There was so much he was willing to say,
So many words, in so many phrases,
And all of it empty, just plain.
Lies, he spewed forth to appease the weak of mind,
Fruit born of ashes, stained.
So tell us, now ,as you stand before their blade,
How you are so unafraid?
Well, we wish you good penance, for your meaningless sacrifice.
Unjust you say?
Well, so long as you didn't spit in their mouths,
And pour out their wine.
So who now should they jest, and torment?
Surely, not their own minds, with that sugar coated vomit.
As long as you’re the one who’s willing to state,
I’ll agree, in the shadows, of a dumb mans stale bravery,
And brevity!
For in the face of the crowd
There seems no choice, but to cheer him on, and end his selfless suffering!
So speak now, and let us know what to place
On cold dark stone.
What empty words have you chose for us, to carve in boulders?
Give us now the name of your tombstone,
Goodbye.

3

In the cold absence I acquiesce,
My will of fire, and all my regrets.
Beg not a beggar for shame, if only there were solitary words to place,
And appease the mind of some foolish; who believe,
That all of the storms are accompanied by rain.
But hear me now, and know my peace.
For there is very little, in this world,
Left for me.
I will share with you all
My little sacrament.
To the gilded halls of Valhalla, I will place,
Left alone as I battle, in the day,
And at night, as I feast upon my enemies flesh,
And fill those halls with my angered breath.
Carved in stone, with emeralds and sapphires,
And stationed like a sentry, to all who can see.
Written are those hallowed phrases;
My last wish,
And all of my engagements,
And if you can bear it no ill will,
I shall see you all; as day light fades,
And as the night wanes, but never changes.
Scarred, by the light of the moon,
And heed these deified pages.
For they were handed down,
From those in the heavens stationed,
And they read:

4

"Remember the tidings,
For I bid them farewell.
All, and everyone,
Who, in this world
Are doomed to fail.
Not in their endeavors,
With children, husband, or wife;
But, in the grand scheme.
As all share
A singular destiny,
And, that is in fact.
That what is coveted most
Is bound to wane.
What awaits all living souls
Is death,
In this cycle of life.
So fear not the time you are given
Rejoice in this verity
Above all creatures on this earth
There are none who are conscious of selflessness
And rebirth
Save one
That is to say that all who are aware
Sing in glorious praise
To life and all of its fame
That you are not alone
For in everything do you ration
In the earth you find soil and grain
In lakes and rivers there is water for your basin
And in the sky above air to breath
Within fire you find the most amazing being
A conscious thought
And awakened creature
Sparks of ingenuity and incongruous exceptional chattels
For in the loneliness of the darkest night
As each of you stare into the others eyes
See inside of yourself
And become aware of the guiding light
All were made equal
In all things do you marvel
And in all things will you share
For you are
Loved"

5

Don’t feel abated
Screen not your unconscious thoughts
Feel the warmth of life
And all of its faults
I wouldn’t ask a singular
Shallow man
To fully
Understand
But I will see that in this you soon will believe
That all of this is just rinky dink
Not chance
Not fate
Not even a coincidence
But faultless
As a child who breaths
I can’t say the truth is too hard to believe
But if in every one of those pills
You could find
A piece of hallowed
Sacred sacraments of time
In inconsistent fruitless maneuvers
You’ll see it was truly all your own doing
Every mistake
Even the smallest of bruising
All the pain in your life
And all your happiest moments
Inside you find hidden deep beneath the pallet
Buried beneath all of those superficial
Nuances
Every aspect of your being
Is all included in your own undoing

6

In the beginning
Of this cretins thing
His hallowed and unsanctimonious being
He wasn’t always this way
At one time innocence
It crept
Slowly as a snail
Lost in a forest of regrets
Pondering each new fallen leaf
Every stem and feather
And broken tree
Full of hopes and dreams
But lost inside of a cumbersome scene
He found that everything wasn’t always as it seemed
He tried he really did
But after each new freshly opened wound
He could bear it no more
As lemon juice was poured down
Deep into the veins
And the sting of it all was there was no one else to blame
He tried to forget
With his passions disinterest
But all he could do was begin
Digging his shovel deep into the earth
Next to the fallen trunks
In the forests canopy
Were the birds no longer fly
They don’t roost
And the trees are barren of leaves
His abandoned home
And his lost memories
He tried to forget his misery
But in the effort he lost his dreams
It saddened his heart
And he abused his mind
With substances whose use is a crime
When he found he couldn’t pass his regrets
He tried to replace the loneliness
In the darkness of his hours darkened days
He found his companion
A perfect soul that wouldn’t
Abate

7

She was cared for in her own congruous ways
But not before any peculiar means
Did she fight off
Or live without
Demons
Her own burdens did she bear
Through all her tousles and all she could place
It was never in her sight
But it was well situated in her
Fate
Through those moments were they joined
On a miraculous day
Did these souls unite
In a most mysterious way
It seemed it was too good to be true
And in fact that was what is was
But inside of doubt did it
Last

8

Through the anger and the pain
The deceit and the rage
No more would it last
As it all began to fade
Someone was dear and that was all it would be
Just a singular moment
Inside a billion of the first stars last
Dying rays
As they die their sparks unite
Inside a billion more will they soon
Ignite
But for the couple it wasn’t the same
There were more uncleanly feelings
Than beautiful moments could save
He pushed her away
And she rejected his love
In regrets did they say
The most hateful of terms
He killed the happiness
She long slaved to maintain
And she butchered the love
He so panged for and craved
But it was all in
Naught

9

In the end
Of this most copious being
Unceremonious cruel exchange of feelings
The lexicon was vulgar and the terms were harsh
But all was meant
And all was lost
They shared in the one truest time they could present
Savored the moments
And all the pain they could repay
Tear it free
And feel what you must
Know the power
Of my tongue
My lust
For hatred hungered and fed
On the last living memories
Of their love they
Shed
They argued the poignant points
They stuffed the wrongs of each others down their throats
Knowing solidarity would save
But it wasn’t meant to be
It would never satiated what their hearts did crave
The blood of the other
And they pain they would create
But he could bear it no more
It was all in shame
It took all he could brave
And as she found him dying
She held him and heard his last breath
In his own voice this is what he
Said
“I’m so sorry
I couldn’t have known
In this last undying eternal love
I didn’t know what I was doing
Guess it was all just a show
I didn’t want to hurt you
But that is all I know
I’ve never been exposed
To the love you had known
But thanks to you
I truly am aware
It just wasn’t in the cards
And for you with this burden to bear
I can’t forgive myself for the pain I’ve caused
And ruining your chances at adornment
So now I say my last farewell
As I turn and walk down this road
I am facing an angel so pure
But I’m a demon who’s never known love
Before or after your touch
Never forget what you meant to me
The truest and happiest of beings
In my own personal torment
I’m the one who’s created this cell
I was too shallow
To false
A thorn in the side
Of all I’ve known
And now its time I die
I wish it weren’t so
But it is
And for you this pain I couldn’t save
As I walk down this road
But I will be looking over your shoulder
I will watch as you blossom and grow
But it is my time
To find my grave
My love”